I had this really good chat with my brother today. He's older by four years, been married 9 years in June and he's typically very funny. It's rare you'll get him serious. Not sure how we started talking about the fact that I'm single, but he said this - he couldn't imagine his life without his wife. Not that she's perfect or he's perfect, not that they don't have things they fight about or whatever, but that together they are it. And I totally agree, together they are one unit in life. And he said he really wanted that for me, too.
I do, too. (He cracked me up when he said - something better than the last two I had in my life. HAHAHA! Ok, I totally agree!) I'm old ya'll, I'll be 38 this year and I get so sick of the "if-she-isn't-married-by-now-there-must-be-something-wrong-with-her" joke (I guess it would be better if I were divorced??). I don't want to date random guys and go through the whole let's-get-to-know-you routine. I don't want a honeymoon stage that leads to daydreams only to be let down after 3-6 months.
What do I want? Heck, I don't really know that. I guess I'm better at saying what I don't want. HA! But I really don't want to make a mistake.
Seriously, I'll let you in on a secret. While I love seeing all of you in the big puffy wedding gowns for your profile pics, and while I love seeing everyone's tummies growing with their children, sometimes it makes me sad. I know your life isn't perfect. But it's the path I thought I would be taking only to find out that wasn't the plan for me.
Many a person has told me they envy what I have in being single and on my own. I have a good life. I like my freedom. Not sure how I'd take having to give it up one day and accommodate someone else's feelings, needs, wants, etc. because I'm kinda used to doing whatever I want to do without consulting anyone else. But maybe one day someone will change that... Guess I'll just have to wait and see what God has in store for me.