Bringing it in focus

I'm not typically the serious blogger, but after Sunday learning more about the Ebola outbreak, I feel like I need to share this information with you (you know the four people that may read this blog. haha!).  My preacher's brother is involved with missions in Liberia and happens to be home right now.  I will say he almost seemed to feel guilty for not being in Liberia right now, but I think he's doing great work by visiting churches to share his information.

The Ebola outbreak has been traced back to one little boy in Guinea. He either ate fruit after an infected fruit bat had nibbled on it, or something along these lines.  The initial symptoms of Ebola resemble Malaria, which is not uncommon in this region.  Therefore the family treated him as if it were Malaria, not realizing they were becoming infected as well.  Since the incubation period for Ebola is 2-21 days, they have a delay until they, too, exhibit signs of Ebola, which look like Malaria.  Eventually one person travels to Sierra Leone to visit the witch doctor, spreading it outside of the area of Guinea.

Many things are promoting the spread: the fact that families prepare the dead and it is at this point that the virus is at its most potent.  The religious beliefs are such that if you are sick, it's assumed you are being punished for doing something bad.  There is a huge mistrust of the government and a severe lack of health care.  The international response was slow, allowing the virus to spread - and continue to spread - at a rapid rate.  According to the presentation, there are over 6,700 cases and 3,000 deaths thus far.  The past THREE WEEKS saw a 57% increase in the number of cases - and it's predicted we'll see 20,000 by November and 1.4 million by the end of January.  I can't even fathom this number. This is how quick Ebola spreads.

Rev. Chuck McArthur and the group he works with www.restoreliberia.org, are working to reach the community through the churches.  By using people already in the community with established relationships, the trust is already in place to listen and learn about how to prevent the spread of Ebola.  Their goal is arm 50 churches with the ability to make and distribute their own soap.  To serve as food distribution centers to those families at risk.  To spread the education about Ebola.

One of his coworkers described a lady who received a bucket, bleach and a bag of rice, how she DANCED IN THE STREETS with JOY for receiving these items that would keep her family alive. Danced. In. The. Streets.  Thanks to A BUCKET. BLEACH. and a bad of RICE.

We can't fathom this, ya'll.  We are not in this situation.  But we can have empathy for our fellow human beings and reach out to them.  As Chuck said - when things are so dark, it's a great time for the church to shine bright.

I'm not asking you to donate - that's for you to decide if you are being led to contribute financially to the cause.  But I am asking you to Pray Pray Pray for these people, the 50 churches, the doctors and leaders.  Please pray that this situation is handled before another 10,000 people are lost forever.

The Purpose of Registries.

credit

Let's talk for just a minute about wedding gifts.  No, I'm not getting married, but I do want to chit chat with brides for just one minute.  (Well, actually anyone receiving a gift, please read on.)

On the radio this week, brides were calling in all ticked off because people were BUYING THEM GIFTS that weren't on their gift registry. I know, how dare they.  How dare they take their hard earned money and BUY YOU A GIFT that you didn't already pick out for yourself. *gasp* Horrific of them, I know.

SERIOUSLY?!?! You must be kidding me, right?

Holy cow, I about flipped my lid and put my car in the ditch when I heard that attitude. Whew. Ok, let's review: 

• I work hard. 
• I earn a limited amount of money.
• I have bills to pay.
• I thoughtfully review your registry and what I would like to purchase you for your wedding. 
• I realize I either a) can't afford your registry or b) would like to buy you something else not on your registry. 
• I spend my money on you, purchase you a gift that I found to be a thoughtful gift to celebrate your upcoming marriage.
• I take an afternoon of my time to attend your bridal shower and share my gift with you. 
• You open it, fake smile about it, and secretly seethe about me not going by your registry. 
• Umm... can I just have my gift back and I'll exchange it for something I want? Thanks. 

I think we have lost something in our society these days.  Like the thoughtfulness of the gift?  I understand registries - and please don't give me the drama of how hard you worked to play with the scanny thing in the store to make your registry because seriously, I've gone on those trips more than once an it's not a hardship. But registries, in my opinion, are suggestions and not ultimatums.  

Please folks, let's remember that people are investing their dollars into gifts for you. They are thoughtfully giving up something in their budget to share joy with you. Let's keep it all in perspective and appreciate the loving thoughts that are shared through a gift of any sort.  What a blessing that someone wanted to gift you with anything! 

Ok, I'm stepping down from my soap box now and my breathing will hopefully return to normal soon. And PS - that poor couple at the top have nothing to do with this - I just found them on the web and really liked their looks. :) 

Can I get your opnion, please?

I don't know if you have seen the documentary, "The Invisible War" yet or not.  If you haven't, you really really REALLY need to, ASAP.  But be prepared to be furious.

So it's all about rape/sexual assault in the military and how this is a very big issue. Stats are disgusting. The fact this issue continues to be swept under the rug, despite major sexual assault scandals time and time again, is enough to make me want to ... well, I don't know but it's very upsetting.

So upsetting I'm still fuming about it weeks after seeing the documentary.

I've decided to write the Senators who are at least trying to make a few changes to the system and seem sincere in their pursuit of justice for the victims.  Will you please read the letter below and tell me if you think this makes any kind of point at all? I would like to send it to the Senators who are sponsoring bills as an encouragement to not let this die. Even if it doesn't pass, keep fighting this fight!

Please leave me feedback on it before I start firing off letters tomorrow. I want to be professional but passionate, not rabid and crazy.

Thanks for reading and commenting.  This particular letter is for Senator McCaskill - I'll have to research each one of the others to make it specific to them.  Thanks!!!

Dear Senator McCaskill:

While I realize I am not one of your constituents, I am writing to thank you for your efforts in protecting our men and women in the military.  Please, do not give up this fight.  After watching “The Invisible War” documentary, I am disgusted at how those most vulnerable have been treated like criminals themselves while too often their predators received no punishment.

In an Huffington Post article in 2011, you cited 8% of sexual assaults investigated in the military are prosecuted compared to 40% in the civilian world.  Even more distressing is this only reflects those cases investigated and does not account for the thousands assaults not reported or reported and not investigated. One in three women in the military are victims of sexual assault - double the civilian rates. Yet a small fraction of these predators ever see justice; some even see promotions and awards.

While the statistics are haunting, the image of a young woman featured in the documentary, who called her father and told him she was “no longer a virgin” due to being raped is the one I cannot possibly get out of my head. I want to meet the father who tells his daughter, “Well sorry, sugar, but that is an occupational hazard to being in the United States military. Suck it up, Buttercup.”  which is basically, what the courts have told the women who dared to bring a lawsuit to their doors concerning sexual assault in the military. 

Obviously, our current system is badly broken and causing life-long repercussions to those thousands who are assaulted each year. Please stay strong and be their voice.  Fight for them. Continue to stand up to the “good-ol’-boy” mentality and keep this issue on the front burner. We need you and others like you to be brave for those who protect us.  Thank you for the work you have already done on this matter; you and those standing with you are making a difference.

Sincerely,

Me!

Running off at the mouth.

As I was just about to create a post about gossip, I ran across another blog post that I just had to share with mine.  Andrea was my first Cara Box partner and I know God placed her in my life - she's a wonderful inspiration and I love following her instagram and blog.

So here is her post - go read it then come back over here, ok? Her blog is about Speaking Life Into People.  Doesn't that sound awesome?  I think so, too.

I like her banner, too. :)

Anyway, so I've really been reflecting on the THINK method of thinking before you speak.

T:  Is it True?
H:  Is it Helpful?
I:  Is it Inspiring?
N:  Is it Necessary?
K: Is it Kind?

Obviously, this closes down a lot of conversation that shouldn't be happening but we all know it is happening. I'm just a guilty, if not more so, than everyone else.

Now that my attention has been drawn to it, gossip really drives me crazy. I sometimes just have to plug in my earphones and spike up the volume in an effort to drown out it all out.

I write for a local newsprint/magazine and I pretty much have freedom to write about whatever I choose, however, I'm listed as a service writer.  Since changing my job, I'm out of the service market (so to speak) so I try to write about ways to give back to the community or self improvements. Here is the article I just submitted - you get a sneak peek before it's even published.  I'll share more thoughts on this tomorrow...

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Remember the game we played as kids, where the first person would whisper a secret in the next person’s ear, and so on and so forth until it got to the last kid.  We all waited to hear what the last kid would say… and he would announce, “The secret is, ‘Billy ate a goat foot at the dime store counter!’”  What? We would all look at that kid like he’s grown three heads because it was nothing like what the first kid said, which was, “Mary paid a buck for a brand new jumper.”  Of course, we all heard a different version and passed it along until it was nothing like what it started as in the first place.

And that’s the entire point, isn’t it?  The game was to prove to us as children how all the gossipy whispers you hear may not be the truth and therefore shouldn’t be repeated. Somehow, as we grew older, it seems we forgot about this lesson.

For whatever reason, gossip is one of those things that has really been getting on my nerves lately.  And trust me when I say, I’m not lily white when it comes to this topic. Not at all and I’ll be the first to admit it! Once it was drawn to my attention and I took a step back from having my nose directly in it, I realized how destructive gossip is to every one of us. It’s ugly. It’s damaging. It’s totally not necessary. I’m not just talking about “ugly talk” but just talking about people in general. Sharing the details you know about their life, their struggles, their ups and downs, their history, their family’s history and what their dog did back when you were in fifth grade. Seriously, it’s the Southern way to know all and share all. But understand, adding a “Bless her heart” at the end of a particularly juicy tidbit of knowledge does not counteract its harmfulness.

I saw this poster online and copied it down to share with my coworkers and friends – people that are around me frequently and could hold me accountable to this new life skill I’m trying to implement. The poster said, “Before you speak: THINK.”

Each letter stands for something to evaluate before you say anything.  “T: Is it true? H: Is it helpful? I: Is it inspiring? N: Is it necessary? And K: Is it kind?”  Let me just share with you now – very little that is shared in our society today can fit in these five categories. 

For example, Jane Ann may have gone a little crazy on Saturday night and streaked down the highway in nothing but her nightie. And, I’m sure plenty of people saw Jane Ann in her nightie to verify that yes, it’s true, she did it.  But is sharing her embarrassing situation helpful to anyone?  Possibly if they were looking for her that night, yes. But the next day? No. It’s definitely not inspiring to further hurt Jane Ann when she’s obviously already struggling. Definitely not necessary to do so nor is it very kind of you to share it.  So, why not stuff a sock in your mouth and keep the info to yourself. OR, better yet, why don’t you go talk to Jane Ann and see if there is something you can do to help her.  And you don’t have to tell everyone that you went and offered to help her and when you did you found the said nightie burning in the fireplace, either.

Do you see my point here?  I believe most of us (again, myself included) have become way too comfortable sharing any and everything we know about everybody with anyone that will listen.  The good, the bad and the ugly.  I hate to tell you this, but it’s just not appropriate. It’s actually quite child-like to do so.  To quote Eleanor Roosevelt, “Great minds discuss ideas, average minds discuss events, small minds discuss people.”  So yeah, that stings a little, but it’s very true.

As we have implemented this in my office, you’ll catch one of them pointing a finger and shouting, “THINK! THINK!” as they know something inappropriate is about to come out of my mouth.  And you know what, I’m thankful for them doing so.  I don’t want to be seen as the slightly crazy and gossipy cat lady that lives up on the hill.  I’d rather be known for being a person with integrity, faithfulness, and discretion. A gossip can’t be viewed as these three things because if you’ll talk about someone else to me, you’ll talk about me to someone else, so you just can’t be trusted.

Make no mistake, gossip isn’t always stretching the truth or flat out lying about someone.  Oh no – go back and read these five points again:  True, Helpful, Inspiring, Necessary, and Kind.  Don’t start thinking you are off the hook if you only share what is true.  Frank Clark said, “Gossip needn’t be false to be evil – there’s a lot of truth that shouldn’t be passed around.”  I can’t disagree with him. 

Is this one of the hardest habits I’ve tried to break? Definitely. I’m not even going to pretend like I’m perfect.  One of my best traits is my ability to quickly snap off a comeback or comment that gets a chuckle from folks. A lot of times that snappy comment is at someone else’s expense and is usually based in truth.  It’s been hard to stop that quick wit and realize a cheap chuckle isn’t worth the ugliness that seeps into my soul for being so catty.  I have found myself becoming a more positive and optimistic person as I’ve slowly been learning to bite my tongue.

It’s not easy, but I hope you’ll consider taking a step back and honestly evaluating if this is something you might need to address in your own life.  If so, try applying the THINK concept and see if it helps you better discern what should and shouldn’t be shared.  I believe you’ll realize the improvement will greatly impact your life, as well as those you were going to gossip about.    

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Disturbing Trend

I was catching up on my blog reading when I ran across this blog entry, at Grits and Giggles.

It scared the poop out of me. I'm very open about my family, my life. I share photos of my baby niece, older niece, best friend's niece, church nursery children...I share. I love these children and to be honest, I just want to brag, show them off, share with you how adorable they are.

But this is the second time recently I've heard of photos being stolen. Once the photo ended up in a child porn site! And in the blogger above's case, someone used it to sell a product.

I want to snatch down every photo because that is down right scary. Oh my gracious, the thoughts of the babies I love ending up on a child porn site just because someone evil stole them from this site makes my blood boil.

What are your thoughts on this? Any suggestions?

Friday's Letter

Dear Muffin, sweet kitten, I know you are thankful for the electric blanket finally getting warm on your side of the bed. And I'm thankful you are no longer lying on top of me. It's hard to breathe with 20+lbs on your chest...

Dear Pressed Clovers, I'm very thankful for the sales this week! I'm so very exited and very honored people are choosing me. :)

Dear Macy - girl, you are so stinkin' cute and funny! My morning visits with you are awesome, I love it! And I'm very thankful for the good news from this week. Whew!

Dear God, thank you for so very much, SO very much. Including the beautiful sunrises and sunsets I get to see on my daily drives... but seriously, so very much.

Dear USPS... seriously? My package was destroyed. Totally opened at the top and ripped down the back. And I received it about 3.5 weeks after it was mailed. And it's missing the letter that was inside. I'm not overly happy about this, just so you know.

Dear Readers... wish me luck as I attempt to be crafty this weekend. Or maybe I'll be chef-y. I'll let you know once I figure out what's on the agenda... Thanks for stopping by for a visit!

Linking up with Ashley at Sweet Season!

Thirty Things on Thursday - 11

Thirty Things on Thursday - Question 11: Describe 10 pet peeves you have.

1. Noise. No really, I'm loud and I understand other people are too, but noise really gets to me. 
2. People calling me Honey, Sugar, Darling, Sweetie... please stop. It really doesn't make me happy. 
3. Grocery store aisle hoggers. You know who I'm talking about, don't you?
4. Anyone making fun of Southerners. In person, in movies, in tv - this really pisses me off. 
5. People who call me closed minded for having a set of beliefs that I live my life by - even if I'm not perfect and I fail at it frequently.  The deal is - how are you not being closed minded by demanding I believe just like you? I won't push my beliefs on you and I expect you to have the same respect.  It doesn't mean I won't like you as a person,I  just won't agree with everything you believe in. (and you know what, it's ok. You don't believe everything I believe in, either, so aren't we kinda on the same page here? Maybe?) 
6. Know-it-alls. 
7. Please don't tell me how to run my life, what I should do, how I should do it. I'm ok, I'm a grown adult, I'm living all by myself and doing ok at it. I truly don't need you to tell me how to function in my day-to-day life. I'm good. Promise. 
8. My mouth. My very own mouth is my pet peeve because I talk too much. It gets me into trouble and if there is one thing I'm focused on changing right now, it would be that. 
9. Always negative and angry people.  There is no sunshine. All is gloom and doom. I've been this person before. And sometimes I slip back into being this person. And it's horrible. No one wants to be around this person and I don't like being that way... so I'm constantly making efforts to be positive and thankful. 
10. Jealousy.  We all experience it for more than just having someone looking at our significant others. I've had some folks jealous of my college degree. Or of my family-life. Or of my (fill in the blank here).  Try being happy for people instead....

And there you go. I'm sure I could find more... trust me. But there is a good start.  

Technology

Last night I spoke to a group of college students about registering to vote, what to expect on Election Day and so on. After working all day plus some, I presented starting at 7:30 pm.

Midway through, I saw a flash of light - a camera phone - and then I got nervous. What if someone is recording this, unbeknownst to me, and posting it to You Tube? Are they making fun of me? Will they try to prove what I'm saying is wrong? What will they do with it?

To tell you how paranoid I am, I checked You Tube last night.

You know, it's really frustrating that you have to worry about things like this. Where are the basic manners of people anymore? (not saying this group, heck if I know if they recorded it...but I do know they were taking pictures)

Earlier this week I was sitting in my car in a parking lot, finishing up a phone conversation. I look across at the person parked in from of me, and it seems she's taking my picture. What? I have no idea why or what she would do with it... Maybe make fun of the girl talking in the parking lot. But why? It's not that exciting or entertaining. But you know what, I've seen similar posted on facebook. People don't recognize privacy anymore.

I'll say this about last night's presentation...If I find anything posted online, I will contact the organizer. Not that I will, but it's sad that is a concern to even consider.

Technology...a blessing and a curse.

posted from Bloggeroid

Update on Meanie Usher Woman.

***** update to the update!!! I've received ANOTHER letter from the big dog in charge who is handling this issue!  This poor volunteer, she just doesn't know what's coming, does she? *****

I must give props to the company that meanie usher woman works for because they did what they could to make this right.

If you have no idea what I'm talking about, visit the original post here. 

So, while I was still fired up, I typed up a letter and sent it to the parent company that owns the theater we were at when the incident happened. I went to their website and found the Operations Director, smacked a stamp on it and into the Postal System the letter went. 

After I sent it, I figured I might hear back, but I surely wasn't banking on it. Imagine my surprise to receive a phone call at about 6:30 p.m. the day the letter was received ... from the Operations Director herself!

She was SO nice, so incredibly apologetic, asking if there was anything she could do to make the situation right.  I wanted to make a point:  I'm not doing this for freebies, I want to see rude volunteers removed or retrained, so I didn't ask for any kind of reimbursement or whatnot. We laughed a lot and she apologized again before saying she would take this letter to her training manager, who had classes coming up very soon. 

It changed my entire attitude towards the company. She is a gem - I hope they work to keep her. I wish I could have found a manager that night because I believe that would have changed my attitude, too. And probably have gotten the rude lady removed from standing behind us, but it wasn't meant to be. And that's ok, too, because hopefully it will draw attention to an area that needs attention. :) 

YAY! I'm very much happier now that this is over and I've said my piece. *sigh*

Meanie Usher Woman

I don't typically complain too much on this blog. I figure you hear enough about it in your everyday life. However, I will mention this issue here, mainly because I'm still fired up about it and I can.

Donna and I went to see "Bring It On" the musical. Loved it! So much energy - how on earth can these people sing while being flipped in the air is beyond me, but that's another story. 

Donna and I arrive early to the theater, hanging out int he lobby until the doors opened to the theater. We head in and find our seats - awesome balcony box seats with only six seats - and four of them weren't sold. SCORE! We have the box to ourselves. 

I pull out my phone, begin taking pictures, uploading them to Facebook, emailing my mom, typical "I'M-SO-EXCITED-AND-WANT-TO-TELL-EVERYONE" kind of stuff. We weren't being loud or disruptive. The lights were up and everyone was just milling about, finding their seats or doing like me. 

Someone grabs my shoulder from behind (volunteer usher) and says in my ear, "You ARE going to turn that phone off when the play begins, right?" I look over my shoulder and say - "Yes ma'am." "And you WILL NOT take pictures when the play begins, RIGHT?"  "No ma'am, of course not." 

Ok, I'm not sure what caused her to single me out for a schooling on proper theater etiquette, however, she didn't feel the need to teach this lesson to anyone else in the theater that night. Why am I getting lectured on what to do when it begins? We are stilling in a fully-lighted room waiting for it to begin. 

The more we thought about this, the madder we got. Oh. My. Gosh. I was pissed by the time the lights did go down. I won't mention the second lady who grabbed my shoulder in an effort to prepare me for the beginning of the show.  UM... THE SHOW HASN'T STARTED.  And get your dang hands off of me! I don't even know what I said to her through the red fury that was shooting from the top of my head. Which I do regret losing my temper. :(  OH well. 

I did try to find a manager, but he couldn't be found by another volunteer usher... so I sent my letter of frustration to the company today. I'll let you know if they contact me for more information. 

Here is the thing: what was it about me that made me set alarms off in her mind? Was it that I didn't have expensive clothes on? I don't wear make up? I have a Southern accent? I'm not polished?  I don't know but whatever it is, she quickly identified me as a problem student and she cast herself in the role of disciplinarian teacher.  She literally stood within touching distance of us anytime the lights were up. It was bizarre. 

But I'm still SOOOOO glad I got to go, see the theater, see BRING IT ON! And have an adventure with Donna. I miss Donna adventures. When you grow up, adventures seem to decrease. so truly, meanie usher can't make our adventure any less wonderfully special. :) 

++++++++  Read the update to this blog entry here!!! +++++++++++
http://whiskeytangohello.blogspot.com/2012/04/update-on-meanie-usher-woman.html

Do your research.

A co-worker and I discussed an emotional non-profit this morning that a club at her daughter's high school had decided to endorse.  It was one of those organizations that targets the younger generation with viral videos, slick marketing and trendy paraphernalia.  A handful of students jumped on it and away it went.

Until one student said - wait, what do we know about this group? Thankfully, someone decided to question. The daughter began to discuss it at home, where her mom taught her to research and learn more before jumping in with both feet.

The mom brought it to work, where I said - wait one skinny minute and let's do some investigating on their IRS 990 forms, other websites involving their name, etc.  Turns out, this group seems to be scamming money for an issue that was resolved four years ago, but most people don't realize it's over. The board and employees are mostly family members, which tosses up another red flag. There was enough negative vibes that I would shy away from it, and it seems the students are turning away, as well.

A great lesson was learned, however, for students who are at the age where they are being tapped to become involved in all types of organizations and causes.  DO THE RESEARCH FIRST.

If you need a tool that is great for digging into tax documents, which isn't a bad place to start, I recommend GuideStar. It's free to sign up to view tax documents for non-profits.  There are other things you can do there, too, read and leave reviews but I don't put a lot of merit into that type of discussion.  I would trust people I know more than those I have no idea what the motivation is behind their review.

Anyway, having been in the non-profit business for a few years myself, I know there are so many wonderful organizations out there who are wonderful financial stewards of "other people's money," investing in extremely worthwhile causes that are truly impacting lives in a very real way.  But you always have those who are shady and sketchy that give honest folks a bad name.  Make sure you know the difference.

Sometimes You're The Bug

My cousin posted this as his facebook status today. The first part is sometimes you're the windshield... He had a bug kind of day.

I understand because my afternoon quickly turned into a bug scenario when my scheduled meeting with two people turned into me sitting in a room alone...waiting.

Then at dinner the checkout counter gal insisted her math was correct, even after I questioned it nicely several times. Nicely turned into me pulling out my cell phone calculator to prove two $10 meals, one tea ($1.95) and two sides of ranch (.35 each) cannot cost $35... no, she overcharged us $10. The evil attitude will probably have me going back tomorrow to issue a complaint.

I've been sick for two weeks or more now. I'm exhausted. I'm no longer attempting to be kind and patient. I'm putting the world on notice, so you have been warned.

Misconceptions of Strength

I am very baffled by people who simply cannot apologize. That is completely amazing to me. It's like somewhere along the line they have been taught one of two things:

1-Never admit you are wrong; it makes you look weak.

2-Never apologize; it gives someone else the power.

I know a girl who marches through life, barking out orders, acting like she is an expert in all things. Unfortunately, she is not.  She doesn't ask questions, she demands answers. And she never, ever apologizes for the mistakes she makes. It is so frustrating.

I knew another girl who was to be my mentor in one of my college jobs.  She informed me I should never ask permission - it gives someone else the power. I'll never forget that... but I don't really believe that.

I BELIEVE, a heartfelt, sincere apology is a enormous sign of strength.  It's much easier to deny there is a problem than it is to admit there is a problem and acknowledge your role in the problem. Then to take it a step further and ask for forgiveness for your part. Wow. That's tough stuff and very few people have this amount of strength.

And while I am frustrated dealing with this person in my life, I can't help but wonder what I didn't own up to myself?

Furry Child.

Meet my furry daughter, Muffin.

In my newish job (I've been here just over a year) I train, depending on the year, 300+ folks in a year's time.  Naturally, these people are curious about me, how long I've lived in the area, married?, kids?, etc etc. And I always answer - No, not married. Nope, no kids. I have a cat, does that count?

Today, someone asked if I had children and I said no - I have a cat.  Now sometimes, they leave it at that or say something like - you probably made the right choice! Now, mind you, it's not like I made a conscious decision to not have children.  But I realize they don't know what else to say.

Today, however, the comments were more along the lines of - well, you never know, you still have time! You may have children yet! Which, I usually comment - oh, I'm getting a little old to have kids so I probably won't.  I have a furry child and that's enough.

I'm not sure where I'm going with this post, other than to say this:  You never know why someone doesn't have children. Maybe they didn't want them. Maybe they can't have children. Or like me, the opportunity to have a child hasn't really presented itself to me. And you know what, I have faith that there is a reason for God having kept me unmarried up until this point. 9 times out of 10 I'm ok with it and 1 time out of 10 it makes me sad that I'm not a mother and the life I thought I'd have didn't happen.

I'm as guilty as everyone else to say something wacky because you don't know what to say.  And truly, I don't mind the questions and comments from well-intentioned people. They are so sweet and only want to know me better. But for me, my child is a furry child, who is very ill-mannered, rude, sassy, silly and loves her mommy.  And for today, that will have to make me content.

Good Point.

I really liked this poster, snatched from Facebook. Honestly, the blame for rape, assault, etc etc is so squarely placed on the victim time and time again.  This poster places that blame and responsibility back on the person who is responsible for the situation - the rapist. The assaulter. The person who made the decision to shatter someone's life and take away a beautiful part of them for their own evil selfish means.  Exactly where it belongs.

Like a bumper sticker I read:  Guns kill people like spoons made Rosie O'Donnell fat.  Likewise, girls don't walk out there and rape themselves. Someone forced this action upon them. So don't act like they do or that they were asking for it. They weren't.

Good Advice.

"Do what you feel in your heart to be right - for you'll be criticized anyway.

You'll be damned if you do, and damned if you don't."

                                                                                            --Eleanor Roosevelt

I adore Eleanor Roosevelt. In another life I was a travel agent. A travel agent who had never been on a cruise ship or a plane. A travel agent who had no idea what I was doing in the travel world. A few people became snarly as I tried to learn the ropes and really upset me. I felt like a failure.

The person who I was replacing wrote on a Post-it note
and taped to my computer this quote:

"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."

                                             --Eleanor Roosevelt

And this started my adoration of Eleanor Roosevelt.

I could say some really ugly things here about my day. But I won't. Because it doesn't matter.  I will continue to do what is in my heart.  I'm sorry some people don't approve of my methods or actions - but understand this: you are but one voice in a crowd of thousands, and the voice in my heart sings louder than them all. I may have lost my confidence for a moment, but it's back. :)  

 Her words are wise -- there are more to be enjoyed here.

It Counts. Seriously!

I know, I bring my work into my personal life. It's always been so and I don't really see it changing in the foreseeable future. :)  Sorry!

I work in elections.  I've had two elections in the past 2 weeks, both of which shows the power of a vote.

First - a smaller town council election.  Although there were 5 people in the race, the final results were down to a man and a woman. The man won at the polls.  The woman won the absentee voting.  But because of her 11 absentee votes, she won the overall race by 4 votes. FOUR VOTES. OH MY GOSH.

Tonight's election involved two counties and 5 total candidates.  In this particular race, the winner must win with 50% + 1 of the votes. With five candidates... well, usually that fractures the vote too much and you end up with a run-off two weeks later between the top two candidates.  After all our precincts reported, we called the other county and heaved a HUGE SIGH of RELIEF because one candidate managed to get more than 50% of the votes. NO RUN-OFF! YAY!

The people speak. And history is determined. I love it! And it's so exciting to be part of the process and watch it all unfold in front of your eyes. However, it's also exhausting and can mean some very long nights. Today was a 15 hour work day for a very small election (24 of 89 precincts).  Last general election for a state-wide election - 5:30 a.m. until 3:00 a.m. the next morning. Almost a 24-hour day!!! And we had to be back at work by 8 a.m. - only 5 hours after we left.

So, people. VOTE. SERIOUSLY. VOTE VOTE VOTE every chance you get. Because especially in the smaller elections, one vote can completely change history. :)

Ok, off my soap box and into my bed. Night!

We have to teach that?

I've mentioned before I write for a local monthly magazine and usually scramble for a topic a few days after the deadline.  Occasionally, something will strike me in church or at work and I'll do some research surrounding the topic. But that's rare.

This week, however, I've spent a lot of time listening to media coverage surrounding bullying. Seriously listened to hours of news coverage of the "mean girls," online harassment, beatings and suicides that have happened recently.  It's baffling, confusing and incomprehensible what kids are doing to kids.

I kind of debate with myself different angles - like are kids REALLY that much worse than when I was in school, or were we raised to be a little tougher? Are kids less confident and more susceptible to suicidal thoughts from peer pressure and criticism? Or are kids truly meaner, more evil, more angry, and more apt to jump another kid in a wolf pack mentality and literally try to kill each other.. over a text message?

I don't know the answer. I tried to do some research on the stats, but I don't think half the people reporting stats know what they are talking about since I keep getting conflicting info. But one comment made by a college official after one of their students committed suicide after being harassed really stuck out in my mind. He said - they have to teach civility to students at his college.

Seriously. Teach civility. Wow. That's just down right scary.

But then I remember a lecture from college (it's a miracle - I remember a lecture from college!), where the professor described the learning process for children in China. (I believe it was China). Small children are not disciplined for poor behavior. The children are expected to see that adults are not behaving like them and end up modeling their behavior after the adults. And this has worked in Chinese culture for centuries.

With this in mind, I question where our children are learning, or maybe NOT learning, their lessons in civility. From adults? And yes, I would have to say manners, etiquette, good will, common decency - many of these attributes have fallen by the wayside.

I'm sure a lot of factors play important roles into the bullying issues and the horrible rise of teen suicides after being harassed by students.  But the bottom line is this:  one child being teased and taunted to beyond the breaking point is unacceptable.  Unacceptable.

So I'm challenging readers to think of ways we can become good examples again, we can bring back common decency to our fellow man, we can exhibit manners and etiquette to each other. Not just in times of crisis - that tends to bring out good in people. But in everyday life. ... are you acting in a manner you want your children to mimic? I know I have things I need to change, (let's not talk about road rage...) so I hope you'll join me for this journey in improvement.

On a totally separate note: I must look really rough tonight.  I know I feel rough thanks to this cough; therefore I'm doping myself up and going to bed. And I will not sleep text tonight to friends who, I'm sure, can't make heads or tails out of my messages last night. :)

Sweet dreams, friends!