So I've shared this story with more detail here, but let me just give you the basics:
- Military function for the ex-BF, hundreds of peeps in dress uniform. I'm in black, up-do, seriously trying to look good and impress.
- Table for 8, all his superiors, their superiors and those people's superiors, ... him and me. I'm the only chick and civilian at this table.
- Imagine with me for just a moment:
- Hairpins dropping from the up-do and skimming down my back All. Night. Long.
- Shoes will NOT stay on and end up flopping like flip flops
- Underwire in the backless bra pops loose and causes a pointy tent in the top of my dress
- The tape of the backless bra comes loose and now I have a "Picasso boob"
- My bracelet breaks in half and falls into my lap. Tucked it into a napkin to discard. Thanks ex-BF for commenting as we leave - don't leave your bracelet!
- At the end of the night, I thought it would be funny to tell the highest ranking officer he was a great date for the night...
- And I get in the car... well I shuffled to the car to keep my shoes on ... and realized there was a tent in my dress - hello ex-BF, why didn't you clue me in!
- It was a rough night. It was definitely the most formal affair I'd been to and probably the most disasterous event I've ever had.
I can laugh now. But then, not so much! ha ha :)
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