Thursday, September 27, 2012

Thirty Things on Thursday - 10

Today's Question:  Describe your most embarrassing moment. 

I'm not sure what to say here. And I'm not sure if that's because I've had so many embarrassing moments, how do I pick just one? Or because I usually forget them shortly thereafter and therefore can't remember a stand-out pick?

Well, here is one of the more recent ones for your enjoyment. 

Imagine with me a huge important oh-la-la military function.  Hundreds of folks in their fancy dress blues and I'm there supporting my man.  I'm in a black dress with a dramatic low back, hair in a swooped up-do, and we were looking good. 

The first mistake was not reading the directions to the stick-on bra. The second was wearing shoes with non-adjustable heel straps.  So we arrive, we are feeling pretty good, even if my fancy shoes were more like flip flops as I tried to keep the heel straps in place.  We found our table with all my man's supporters - his boss, his boss' boss, and that man's boss and a few other co-workers scattered in there, too. I'm the only gal at the table. 

Before we are all seated, I shuffle to the restroom (trying to keep those shoes ON MY FEET) and attempt to re-stick one side of the stupid bra.  It will NOT stay affixed to the skin on my right side, no matter how much I beg, pray, etc. I shuffle back to the table, holding my right arm tight against my side in an effort to actually keep the bra in place. 

Once it's our turn, we go to get our desired meal for the night and as I'm in line, I feel something shimmer down my bare back. I try to ignore it, but it happens again. Then again at the table... um, yes - that would be my bobby pins falling from the up-do and now littering the floor whenever I go. Not like I'm not enough of a nervous wreck since I have NO idea how to eat at a formal setting and I discovered I've claimed the bread plate of the man sitting next to me ... oops.

Yes, it's a long story.  I'll skip over other parts (like my cheap rhinestone bracelet literally snapping in two and falling off my wrist....or the random inappropriate thing I said to the highest ranking man at the table.) 

Let me say, by the end of the night, I had Picasso boobs as I could no longer hold the evil bra into place and the right side has now slipped down to rest near my right ribs. The cups on those suckers could float a small cat they are so well molded, so it's not like it flattened out with my boob no longer in it. Oh no, it's a perfectly perky boob protruding from the right of my ribs. 

Not until I got in the car did my man ask what the pokey thing was that was jacking up the front of my dress - OH!! That would be the UNDERWIRE which has slipped from the bra and was creating a mini tent at the very top of my dress! Hairpins have escaped every which way, my shoes were worthless... let's just say I was one hot mess. 

And this folks, this was the impression I left on those big wigs in the military. Ahhh... I can't help but laugh. Because heck, what else can you do? 

Thirty Things on Thursday... you are definitely making me relive some GREAT MEMORIES (sarcasm... hahahaha)  Hope ya'll enjoyed it. :) 


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