But, as I crawled in bed last night with my heart heavy and sad, I opened up this Bible verse journal that my penpal friend in Louisiana sent to me ages ago. It is a smallish 4 x 6 journal, burgundy and black, with Rejoice on the front. For a long time, I added Bible verses and quotes that touched me and I carried it in my purse. As my purse become more and more heavy, I cleaned out, including taking my little journal out.
Just this week I ran across it and thought - I really need to keep that handy. But of course, I kept going on and didn't actually pick it up and put it somewhere more accessible.
Last night, as my heart hurt and I just needed some encouragement, I thought about my little journal with all those Bible verses inside. I got it and crawled back in bed. I opened it up and this is what I found:
But the Lord stood with me
and gave me strength.
2 Timothy 4:17
So always trust the Lord
because He is forever
our mighty rock.
Isaiah 26: 4
It was like he smacked me in the head and said - BETH. Listen to Me. Look at Me. I'm patiently waiting for you to simply ask Me for what you need. I am your ROCK and I'll give you the strength to get through this, you just need to ask.
It reminded me of last Sunday when I went to pick up Macy from Children's Church. She was out of the classroom (why, I don't know, but that's another issue) and was walking in the crowded hallway. Being so short, all she could see were legs, legs, and legs. I see her clearly and am just about to touch her when she stops in the hall and starts crying because she can't find her MawMaw. I touched her and called her name, but she was too lost in her own fears at that moment and couldn't look up to see her Aunt Beth. I called her and talked to her, and finally put my hands on both sides of her cheeks and crouched down to her level saying, "LOOK AT ME!" And it was then that she finally saw me. I still wasn't MawMaw, but that's another story, too (haha).
That little book shows up so many times when I need it. It's God's way of crouching down and grabbing me by the face and saying, "Look at Me!!" :)